Four years ago I had my sketch of a magnolia flower and the word “beloved” tattooed on my wrist. In this gut-wrenching season of life I needed a daily reminder of who God says I am when the sting of broken relationships had left me with so much pain I wasn’t sure I would survive until the next day…

I don’t know how I missed all of the signs. Jealousy, control, disrespect, lies, and constant stress dominated our relationship and yet I wanted so badly to feel loved, I stayed. I stayed through the screaming matches, dates where he didn’t show up, and hurtful accusations. It wasn’t until he lost control and picked me up and threw me onto the ground that I realized I had to get out. Love doesn’t abuse and that’s exactly what this toxic relationship had become; abusive.

When life feels overwhelming, chaotic, or dark, finding the light is a learned skill. Author Kristina M. Ward (and mom of six!) shares practical tips on training our eyes toward the light.

We inherit so much from our family, much of it being subconscious. You don’t need to have suffered a major traumatic event, or even have endured heavy trauma like sexual abuse to have experienced a childhood of harmful messages, emotional neglect and toxic practices. Destructive behaviors, thought patterns and mental illness quietly pass from one generation to the next, unless intentional steps are taken to break the cycle and replace the toxic patterns with healthy practices.

The most foundational piece to their success with communication and advocacy now, as well as an adult, is identity. Knowing who they are and whose they are will inform the way they see the world around them and, even more importantly, the role they are to play in it.

Even if we are all sufficiently convinced that leaning into hard conversations with our kids matters, what are we supposed to say? As much as I wish I could upload conviction, critical thinking, and wisdom into their sweet little brains, time and practice are the only way these gems are discovered.

I’m sure you’ve heard people tell you, “God won’t give you more than you can handle!” Sometimes this is declared in a, “I’m trying to reassure you and I don’t know what to say” kind of way, and other times it’s delivered in a more dismissive, “Stop complaining and buck up; deal with your problems like everyone else” tone of voice. No matter the intention, that motivational quote isn’t found anywhere in the Bible and the truth is God will absolutely give you more than you can handle.

While I am wired as an Enneagram 8 (referred to as the Challenger for those of you who haven't spent countless hours fascinated with this personality tool, like I have), the hospitality driven side of me desperately wants those around me to feel loved and genuinely known. As a result, “I’m sorry” pops out of my mouth way too often.

Anger is normal, but it feels so gross. Anger itself is not the problem- the problem is me; me and my inability to manage anger effectively.