The Results are in and Your
CYCLE-BREAKING Super Power is:
conflict resolution
You are a perceptive, adaptive, LET’S ALL JUST GET ALONG kind of person. Harmony is important to you, including working towards a healthier family. You know how to see all sides of an issue—and can use your voice and influence to help others consider new points of view in your family.
But constantly mediating for everyone else has left you exhausted. You are tired of letting everyone else’s behavior affect your own sense of peace. Reading the room and jumping in to prevent conflict hasn’t healed your family as much as you would have hoped, and you aren’t sure you have much left to give. You’re ready to start taking your own needs and boundaries seriously…
“It’s time to give a voice to all the stories you hold—a voice that both can recognize all you’ve been through and is also committed to speaking hope over your future. It is possible for your legacy to pass on to the next generation with less pain than the one you inherited.”
— Kristen Hallinan, Legacy Changer
How did You develop the superpower
of CONFLICT RESOLUTION?
IN your family, you played the role of:
The PEACEMAKER
You often toss aside your own needs for the sake of avoiding confrontation. Oftentimes, you are willing to bend and flex to accommodate others’ positions—so much so that you often aren’t sure what your own opinion is. You’ve often thought, maybe if you could just prevent a big fight from breaking out, maybe no one would have to address the real problems underneath the surface…
If we were sitting down for coffee, I would tell you…
Your voice matters.
If you could hold up a mirror and see yourself the way God sees you, you would see his special possession—his beloved child that he created on purpose. You’ve spent so long standing up for others; it’s time to give voice to your own needs, desires, opinions, and boundaries.
You are not defined by your past—and you can stop holding the weight of everyone else’s emotions.
The best is yet to come for you and your family. In using your voice to advocate for yourself and your loved ones, you have the power to break unhealthy generational cycles that have continued on for far too long. Your ability to see all sides can show up with empathy for others—instead of feeling responsible for their emotions.
Other people being upset with you will not be the end of you.
Take a deep breath, and exhale out all of the demands you place on yourself. Your security doesn’t depend upon the temperature of the family—your safety and security are found in Christ. Another’s feelings shouldn’t mean the withdrawal of love or respect—and if it does, it’s time to set boundaries. Focus on what heals your heart, gives you life, and walks you closer to what God has called you to do.
Before we get too far into this…
MEET THE AUTHOR:
I’M KRISTEN HALLINAN
I’m the girl who came from a chaotic childhood, but you’d never know it because I was so put together on the outside. For too long, I thought I could breeze past my past, using my hard work ethic and quick wit to force a perfect future into fruition. As it turns out, that’s not exactly how it works.
As a wife and mom of four strong-willed, joy-filled kids, I found myself reacting out of pain from the past all too often. These behaviors scared me, and I knew it was time to do something about it.
I’ve spent the last five years healing from wounds of my past, rediscovering my story, figuring out who God says I am, and putting new practices into place so I can pass a changed, healthier legacy onto my children.
The legacy we inherit doesn’t have to be the legacy we pass on. It is possible to break the cycle, and God wants to redeem your story.
Today, I help Legacy Changers heal their hurts, let God redeem their story, and create hope for their families.
LEgacy Changer
Heal the Hurt, Redeem Your Story, Create Hope for Your Family
Do you feel stuck in cycles of brokenness? Many of us unknowingly repeat the mistakes of our parents and grandparents, passing on pain and suffering to the next generation. No matter what has happened in the past or what mess you might be in today, you are not destined to carry on your family’s wounds, unhealthy behaviors, or toxic relationships. It doesn’t have to be this way. Your legacy can be different and the change starts with you.
***Legacy Changer releases 02.20.24
YOUR NEXT STEPS
The next time you get the urge to step in—don’t. Let other people take responsibility for their own emotions and behaviors.
Name the family member you feel most responsible for and name two times you rescued them. What would have happened if you had not done this?
Be on the lookout for an email soon with more about what CONFLICT RESOLUTION looks like when you are healing from the past and creating a new, healthier legacy.
CHILDHOOD NEEDS
Did you know every child has 13 needs that should be met by their parents or caregivers? Very Few of us have every need met, AND unmet needs have an impact.
“Legacies passed down from generation to generation consist of both what took place in a family as well as what didn’t.”
- Kristen Hallinan, Legacy Changer
As THE peacemaker,
The needs that may not have been met in your childhood include:
Skills Building—Skills that require teaching in childhood, like setting and respecting boundaries, forgiveness, emotional regulation, and self-control, are not often modeled in the home of a peacemaker.
Connection—So much of the connection you felt with others was contingent upon keeping them happy. In a co-dependent family, you probably didn’t get to experience the full freedom that comes with emotional health and responsibility.
Experiences—Peacemakers rarely feel the freedom to go out and adventure on their own, make mistakes and learn how to recover, or try out interests separate from the family.
Interested in learning more?
Legacy Changer will help you to:
Understand the brain and body science of emotional wounds
Heal from generational pain
Rediscover your story
Set boundaries in your relationships—the way Jesus did.
Create hope for your family
